This is an article I wrote recently based on my own experience and thought it would be nice to share.

When my marriage ended, I thought I would never fall in love with the same intensity again. Silly me! After two years I was madly in love with a person who was more than 20 years my senior and thought that this was the definite one. Again... silly me!

At the beginning it was all nice and exciting. I must say that, although I had been married before, I was still very young and this was a complete new experience for me. I learned many things and after three years I started wondering if this relationship was going somewhere, especially because at that time I was in my mid twenties and wanted a family, stability and, believe it or not... to be married again!

But unfortunately, I discovered that my partner didn't share the same enthusiasm. He was happy the way his life was and didn't think that it was necessary to talk about marriage. We were living in our own homes and not even the idea of living together crossed his mind. So my brain started to make me questions and sadly realized that the answers were not the ones that my heart wanted to hear.

I should have realized this was the first sign that I was in a bad relationship! But when you associate verbal and physical abuse to the concept of "bad relationship" it is difficult to admit that yours, which doesn't have those ingredients, may be one of those. As I said before, mine was full of great moments and experiences... but nothing else.

So the big question is: Are all bad relationships the same, or at least with the same characteristics? I don't know. Maybe the answer is that it all depends on what you are looking for and what is your final goal. And I realized mine was definitely not to be the eternal girlfriend or lover of an old man.

Once I accepted that I needed more than what I was getting from this relationship, it came the time of making decisions. Very difficult time! It is not that you stop loving the person, I was still in love and cared about him, but did not find the relationship fulfilling anymore. However, he thought that everything was perfect and that it could last forever. I wanted to share those thoughts and sometimes closed my eyes and tried to convince myself that it wasn't that bad... but no success. When my eyes were opened and looked around me, I could only see emptiness and no future.

I tried to convince myself that he really loved me, and even today I think he did. The question was, do I want to be loved this way? One day I answered that question and the answer came abruptly: NO. I tried to break up gently, explaining that we were not heading the same way and that I needed the commitment he was not willing to make. And always the same answer... I love you too much to let you go, and you love me the same way! Of course I loved him, but I was ready for commitment and responsibilities.... he wasn't.

It took me another four years to end the relationship. And I had to fight hard against my own feelings and realize that it was the best thing to do. I left the country and started a new life abroad. I met a great man who is now my husband and feel that I have now all what I always wanted.

So in the end, bad relationships not always show themselves as bad. They could be full of great moments and experiences, but it all depends on what you really want in life.